27th Sunday Ordinary Time Cycle B

Mark 10: 2-16

October 7, 2012

The Gospel tells us bluntly as it can that marriage is supposed to last.

But experience tells us that, tragically, it doesn't always.

The pain of divorce has touched most of us personally and directly, and many others indirectly through our sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, even our parents.

When we look at American marriages in 2012 the picture is bleak.

The divorce rate has soared to over 50 percent.

What are the reasons for this?

I'm not sure, but I have some ideas.

I see people entering marriage, hoping that they will be fulfilled by the other person.

People enter marriage, knowing of problems, but believing either they or their spouse "will change."

 Couples become pregnant hoping a child will bring them closer together.

When this doesn't happen they are tempted to break up or stay in the situation but look for fulfillment or excitement elsewhere.

And then, there are couples who have grown apart from one another or grown in different directions.

And none of these problems will go away by merely declaring it a law that marriage is only between a man and a woman.

That's not the problem with marriage these days and we all know it.

The truth is, a failed marriage represents a human tragedy for everyone involved.

The pastoral responsibility of our church is to participate in healing and not come across in a hard-hearted way.

By the time most couples resort to divorce, the rift between them is too great for reconciliation.

As a church, we have been working hard to counsel couples contemplating marriage to work at gaining basic respect for each other and the ability to negotiate differences before they get married.

Other programs aim to help couples and families strengthen their commitments to each other or to help single parents rear their children.

None of these programs can help those who fall into the category of the "hard hearted," those persons who lack compassion and refuse to make a change of heart.

Jesus was looking at the selfish individualism of the Herodian court when he made his comments in answer to the Pharisees, question

He was not telling a battered woman that she and her children must risk physical and psychological torment every day just to avoid divorce.

By treating marriage as grounded in God's creative love, Jesus removes it from the realm of law. He did not think new laws would create the spirit in which disciples would live out his teaching.

Sometimes people think that Jesus is merely the product of a stricter society.

In fact, the legal protections around marriage were much more individual in his day than in ours.

The questions he poses about a hard-hearted or utilitarian view of marriage are still crucial for our reflection,

not because we want tough laws against divorce, but because we seek to help Christian families become what God intended them to be.

Our church needs to find better ways to support families, especially those families who have gone through the pain and suffering of a break-up.