Friday of the Passion of the Lord 2013

Betrayal and Arrest of Jesus

John 18:1-19:42

March 29, 2013

It is incredible, this act of tenderness, washing their feet:

Touching, caressing what was most common about them,

What was reserved usually for the lowest of slaves (someone who didn't matter.

There was nothing about them he did not love, could not forgive

I think that is what bothered Peter so much.

Peter knewCknew that, in this simple act, Jesus was reaching beyond camaraderie, beyond a simple wishing well or liking much.

Jesus loved them, him!

And that love was a black hole for Peter.

It terrified him, sucked him in and down:

YOU WILL NOT DO THIS FOR ME.

I CANNOT TAKE IT.

I CANNOT TAKE YOUR LOVE.

I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO LOVE ME WITHOUT BOUNDARIES.

IF YOU LOVE ME, STOP!

STOP NOW BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO LIVE WITH IT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I CAN BE "ME" IF YOU LOVE ME.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND, JESUS?

LOOK AT ME, JESUS.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

And then, it's Jesus' turn to speak.

PETER, IF I DO NOT LOVE YOU, THEN THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU OR FOR ME.

PETER, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?

I HAVE TO LOVE YOU, PETER, THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE SENSE OUT OF MY LIFE AND MY DEATH.

I CANNOT DIE FOR AN IDEA OR A CAUSE.

I CANNOT DIE BECAUSE I AM ANGRY OR FRUSTRATED.

I CANNOT DIE A MARTYR, SOMEONE WHO IS LARGER IN DEATH THAN IN LIFE.

PETER, THIS IS WHO I AM, AND THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I UNDERSTAND THE WORD "GOD."

PETER, IF YOU CANNOT TAKE THIS, WHO CAN?

IF YOU CANNOT TAKE THIS, THEN WE ALL MUST LIVE WITHOUT GOD

This is the terrifying truth of this night:

This is why it's so important for all of us to be here on this night:

If you who have had your feet washed, if all of us cannot take this love without boundariesC

This black hole that sucks us in and demands some response from what is deepest and truest in usC

That forgives us in advanceC

Then we must all live without God

And that is equally terrifying to me.

I cannot live without God.

To understand that I cannot live without God is to understand two things:

I cannot live without God's love (however terrifying and life-altering that can be)

And I cannot live without youCeach of you

Somehow, they are both the sameCGod's boundless love and you.

That is what Jesus knew.

That is what terrified Peter.

That is what you and I cannot forget.....each time we break the bread and share in the one cup.