Wednesday, February 26, 2014

When does 'religious freedom' become protected discrimination?



The campaign for unlimited "religious freedom" gained more ground yesterday when the Arizona legislature passed a bill allowing businesses to refuse service to any customer if the business feels that serving that person would violate their religious beliefs. The bill follows an attempt in Kansas to explicitly allow business owners to refuse service to same-sex couples and similar efforts in a number of other states, as the push to more broadly define the concept of religious liberty continues to spread across the nation.
In the Arizona bill, Reuters reports, "a business owner would have a defense against a discrimination lawsuit, provided a decision to deny service was motivated by a 'sincerely held' religious belief and that giving such service would have substantially burdened the exercise of their religious beliefs." Of course, the term "sincerely held religious belief" is problematic in that it can easily become an umbrella term that covers any of a person's beliefs.
We know that many Catholics, for instance, "sincerely hold" beliefs that are not entirely aligned with the official teachings of the church. And what if you don't belong to a specific church, but you have your own set of "sincerely held" religious beliefs that aren't part of any organized religion? What if those beliefs involve denying service to people based on their ethnic background, their economic status, or their sex?
Critics of the Arizona law, and others like it, are quick to call such efforts a blatant attempt at legally protecting discrimination. Supporters say they're just protecting the First Amendment by letting people follow their religion without any interference.
The only problem with that argument is that, contrary to what some may try to claim, one person's individual right to the free exercise of religion has not always been unlimited. In 1982, Chief Justice Warren Burger wrote in the Supreme Court's majority opinion of United States v. Lee that "not all burdens on religion are unconstitutional," particularly when it comes to the religious liberty of employers. And perhaps the most famous court decision limiting an individual's religious freedom came from Justice Antonin Scalia--a Catholic who has generally been known to defend his church's position in the public square--in the 1990 case of Employment Division v. Smith.
Of course these are complicated cases that define very specific aspects of First Amendment rights, but without getting into a detailed debate over constitutional law, there is clearly a precedent that an individual's rights under the free exercise clause can be limited. Do those limits prevent them from denying service to certain customers because of religious beliefs? That remains to be decided, but the current Supreme Court might give us some idea of their thinking on religious liberty limitations in their forthcoming decision in the Hobby Lobby case. And if bills like the one in Arizona become law, it is only a matter of time before one of them ends up being debated before the court.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Pope tells cardinals they are servants, not courtiers




Reconciliation: √ CELEBRATING GOD’S FORGIVENESS





  We all know the parable of the Prodigal Son.
  It is probably the best example of the human process of reconciliation, and of the theology of the new rite of Penance.
From talking with a lot of you, I have found many find it difficult to believe the story (see Luke 15:11-32).
The father welcomes the son back instantly--doesn’t even wait for him to get back to the house.
AND HE ISN’T AT ALL INTERESTED IN HEARING THE YOUNG MAN’S CONFESSION, only in celebrating his return!

This is not the way we Catholics have always looked at this sacrament.
And even with a new rite, we tend to adopt the attitude of the older son in the story:
forgiveness comes only after you re­cite your list of sins, agree to suffer a bit for them, do something to make up for your sins, give some guarantee you won’t commit the same sins again, and prove yourself worthy to join the rest of us who haven’t been so foolish!
Right?

What we find hard to believe is that God is not like the older son, but the parent.
God is not out to catch us in our sin but wants to reach out and hang on to us in spite of our sin.
Reconciliation (and the new rite is careful to point this out) is not merely a matter of getting rid of sin.
Nor is its primary concern what we, the penitents, do.
The important point is what God does in, with, and through us.

  We Journey Home to God

God’s reconciling work in us does not happen instantly.
Reconciliation is a long, often painful process-
It is a journey not confined to, but completed in, sacramental celebration.
  It is a round-trip journey away from our home with God and back again that can be summed up in terms of    three “C’s”:
conversion, confession and celebra­tion-  AND in THAT ORDER!

  We remember it differently from the past. (Ask what they remember)
Receiving the sacrament meant beginning with a  recitation of sins (confession).
  Then we expressed our sorrow with and Act of Contrition, agreed to make some satisfaction for our sins by accepting   our penance, and    resolved to change our ways (conversion).
  Celebration was seldom, if ever, part of the process.
And now they tell us it’s the heart of the process!

We can better understand the stages in our journey to reconciliation-and the order in which they occur – if we examine the Parable of the Prodigal Son.
This will help us to understand why the theology of the new Rite of Penance suggests a reordering in the pattern that we were familiar with in the past.
Like the young man in the story, our journey also begins with the selfishness of sin.
His sin takes him from the home of his parents-as our sin takes us form the shelter of God and the Christian Community.
His major concern in his new self-centered life-style – as is ours in sin – is himself and his personal gratification.
None of his friends last; his friends run out when his money does.
Eventually he finds himself alone, mired in the “mud” of his life.
Then comes the most significant phrase in the whole story: “Coming to his senses at last...”
For him, this is the beginning of the journey back home, the beginning of conversion.
Conversion: An Ongoing Process

                        The conversion process begins with a “coming to one’s senses,” with a realization that all is not right with our values and style of life.
Prompted by a faith response to God’s call, conversion initiates a desire for change within us.
Change is the very essence of conversion.
Shuv, the Old Testament term for conversion, suggests a physical change of direction;
metanoia, the New Testament term, suggests an internal turnabout, a change of heart that shows up in our behavior.

The Gospel tells us that metanoia occurs when God’s Spirit breaks into out lives with the Good News that God loves us UNCONDITIONALLY, NO STRINGS ATTACHED, NO MATTER WHAT WE DO OR WHO WE ARE!

  Conversion is always a response to being loved by God.
In fact, the most important part of the conversion process is the experience of being loved and realizing that God’s love saves us –   we do not save ourselves.
Our part in this saving action is to be open to the gift of God’s love – to be open to grace in our lives.
Persons who turn to God in conversion will never be the same again, because conversion implies transforming the way we relate to others, to ourselves, to the world, to the universe and to God.
Unless we can see that our values, attitudes and actions conflict with the Gospel, we will never see a need to change or desire to be reconciled.
The need for conversion does not extend only to who have radically embraced evil.
Most often metanoia means the small efforts all of us must continually make to respond to the call of God.
And when we discover in our examination of our values, attitudes and style of life that we are “missing the mark” we experience the next step in the conversion process –    Contrition.
This step helps us break away from our misdirected actions, leave them behind and make some resolutions for our future.

            Let’s go back to the Parable.
The young man takes the first step in the conversion process when he “comes to his senses,” overcomes his blindness and sees what he must do.
“I will break away and return to my father.”
Before he ever gets out of the pigpen, he admits his sinfulness.
In this acknowledgment of sin he both expresses contrition and determines his own penance.
“I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against God and against you... Treat me like one of your hired hands..”’

For many people in the past penance connoted “making up to God” by punishing ourselves for our sins.
But true reparation is not punishment.
At its root, reparation is repairing or correcting a sinful life-style.
In the past we were told to do penance as temporal punishment for our sins.
   Now, however, we understand that our real “punish­ment” is the continuing pattern of sin in our lives and the harmful attitudes and actions it creates in us.
The purpose of doing penance is to help us change that patterns.
                                 Penance is for growth, not for punishment.
“Doing penance” means taking the steps in the direction of living a changed life;
it means making room for something new in our lives.
It means WE MUST BE WILLING TO CHANGE!

  Confession:

Externalizing What is Within

Confession, one aspect of the sacrament which used to receive the greatest emphasis, is now seen as just one step in the total process.
  CONFESSION OF SIN CAN ONLY BE SINCERE IF IT IS PRECEDED BY THE PROCESS OF CONVERSION!
It is actually the external expression of the interior transformation that conversion has brought about in us.
It is a much less significant aspect of the sacrament that we made it out to be in the past.
This does not mean that confession is unimportant – only that it is not the essence of the sacrament.

Let’s look again at the parable.
The father, seeing his son in the distance, runs out to meet him with an embrace and a kiss.
Through one loving gesture, the father forgives the son – and the son hasn’t even made his confession yet!
When he does, it seems the father hardly listens.
  The confession is not the most important thing here;
   the important thing is that the son has returned.
  The son need not beg for forgiveness,  he has been forgiven.
This is the glorious Good News that most of don’t really believe even though it is at the root of our faith:
 GOD’S FORGIVENESS, LIKE GODS LOVE, DOESN’T STOP.

In this parable, Jesus reveals to us a loving God who simply cannot NOT forgive!
Our attitude toward the Sacrament of Penance is intimately related to our image of God.
We need to really believe that our God is not some big bogeyman waiting to trip us up, but a great Lord who is ever ready to reach out in forgiveness.
The Rite of Penance reflects this image of a God of mercy.

Formerly it was the penitent who began the encounter in confession –
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned” –
not unlike the way the son in our parable planned to greet his father.
But the parent in the parable intervened.
In the same vein, now in Penance it is the confessor who takes the initiative, reaching out, welcoming the penitent and creating a hospitable environment of acceptance and love before there is any mention of sin.
Thus, the sacramental moment of confes­sion – just one of the sacramental moments in the whole Rite – focuses on God’s love rather than our sin.

Of course, the new Rite does concern itself with the confession of sins.
  But one’s sinfulness is not always the same as one’s sins
  And, as a sacrament of healing, Penance addresses the disease (sinfulness) rather than the symptoms (sins).
  So, the sacrament calls us to more than prepared speeches or lists of sins.
  We are challenged to search deep into our heart of hearts to discover the struggles, value conflicts and ambiguities (the disease) which cause the sinful acts (the symptoms) to appear.

Which leads us to a couple of important questions:
  (Can children do this at this age?}
Can we?

  A question that often arise is: Why confess my sins?
And why confess to a priest?
Why not confess directly to God, since God has already forgiven me anyway? From God’s point of view, the simple answer is:
  There is no rea­son. God’s already forgiven us!
  But from our point of view, the answer is that as human beings who do not live in our minds alone,
we need to externalize bodily – with words, signs and gestures – what is in our minds and hearts.
  WE NEED TO SEE, HEAR AND FEEL FORGIVENESS  – NOT JUST THINK ABOUT IT

We need other human beings to help us externalize what is within and open our hearts before the Lord, which puts confessors in a new light.
They are best seen, not as faceless and impersonal judges, but as guides in our dis­cernment compassionately helping us experience and proclaim the mercy of God in our lives.
As the introduction to the Rite puts it, the confessor “fulfills a parental function ...reveals the heart of God and shows the image of the Good Shepherd.”

  Another of the confessors roles is to say the prayer of absolution.
Contrary to what we may have thought in the past, this prayer, which completes or seals the penitent’s change of heart,   is not a prayer asking for forgiveness.
  It is a prayer signifying God’s forgiveness of us and our reconciliation with the Church – which is certainly something to celebrate.

WHICH LEADS US TO:
Celebration: God Always Loves Us

“Celebration” is a word we haven’t often associated with the Sacrament of Penance.
But in Jesus’ parable, it is obviously important and imperative.
 “Quick!” says the father, “let us celebrate.”
And why?
Because a sinner has converted, repented, confessed and returned.
Celebration makes sense only when there is something to celebrate.
Each of us has had the experience of going to gatherings with all the trappings of a celebration – people, food, drink, balloons, bands and yet the festivity was a flop for us.
For example, attending an office party can be such an empty gathering for the spouse or friend of an employee.
We are trying to turn our celebrations of this sacrament here at St. Therese into true celebration.
It is apparent, however, that this sacrament is not seen as an occasion to celebrate for those who come every month.
Why?
Because celebration flows from lived experience or it is meaningless.
The need for celebration to follow common lived experiences is especially true of sacramental celebration.

All of the sacraments are communal celebrations of the lived experience of believing Christians.
Perhaps what we need to help us feel more comfortable with the idea of celebration in relation to Penance is a conversion from our own rugged individualism.
                      Let’s face it – there is something abut believing in a bogeyman God from whom we have to earn forgiveness that makes us feel good psychologically.

  It’s harder to feel good about a God who loves and forgives unconditionally – whether we know it or not, want it or not, like it or not.
In the face of such love and forgiveness we feel uncomfortable.
It creates a pressure within us that makes us feel we should “do someth­ing” to deserve such largess – or at least feel a little bit guilty.

The older brother in our parable expresses this same discomfort.
Upon witnessing the festivities, he appeals to fairness and legalism.
In a sense, he is hanging on to the courtroom image of the Sacrament of Penance, suggesting that there is no way everyone can feel good about the return of the younger brother until amends have been made.
I know from talking to groups and individuals here at St. Therese that many of us here in this parish would certainly cast our votes for the older brother for he most closely resembles us in our understanding of God’s limitless love and forgiveness.
                                  He is too calculating, too quantitative.
  This son finds it difficult to understand that we are never NOT forgiven.
  THE SACRAMENT OF PENANCE DOES NOT BRING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WAS ABSENT.

                          IT PROCLAIMS AND ENABLES US TO OWN GOD’S LOVE AND FORGIVENESS THAT ARE ALREADY PRESENT!

The older brother’s problem is a universal human one.
It’s tough for most of us to say, “I’m sorry.”
And, if you are like me, it’s most difficult of all to say gracefully, “I accept your forgiveness.”
To be able to do that we must be able to forgive ourselves.

That, too, is what we celebrate in the Sacrament of Penance.
The community’s liturgical celebration of Penance places a frame around the picture of our continual journey from sin to reconciliation.
Only someone who has never experienced or reflected on that journey will fail to understand the need and value of celebrating the sacrament.

The older son in our story may be such a person.
When the father calls for a celebration, everyone else in the household responds.
Not only do they celebrate the younger son’s return, they celebrate their own experience of forgiveness, mercy and reconciliation as well.
They, like us, have been on that journey from which the young man has returned.

So there IS something we can do about the unconditional forgiveness we receive from God: forgive as we have been forgiven:
Having been forgiven, we are empowered to forgive one another, heal one another and celebrate the fact that together we have come a step closer to the peace, justice and reconciliation that makes us the heralds of Christ’s Kingdom on earth.
A Communal Celebration
Why don’t we just go to a priest and let him “hear” our confession like we used to: why do we have these big gatherings during Lent and Advent?
 Because sacramental celebrations are communal because sacramental theology is as much horizontal as they are vertical

What does that mean?
Well, sacraments happen in people who are in relationship with each other ( horizontal) and with God (vertical)
We’ve spent so much time in the past emphasizing the vertical aspect of sacraments at the expense of the horizontal.
In the area of sin, forgiveness and reconciliation this is particularly evident.
                                  Our sinfulness disrupts our relationship in community as well as our relationship with God.
And since the sacrament begins with our sinfulness, which always affects others, it is only proper that it culminate with a communal expression of love and forgiveness that embodies the love and forgiveness of God.

Unconverted “older sons” (or daughters) will always be out of step with the Christian community.
When we celebrate the sacrament, we celebrate with joy and thanksgiving because the forgiveness of the Christian community and of God has brought us to this moment – and that is worth celebrating.
There is no room for the attitude that forgiveness comes “only when you have recited your list of sins, agreed to suffer a bit for them and proven yourself worthy to join the rest of us who haven’t been so foolish.”

Such “older sons” are looking for what theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer called “cheap grace” – grace without discipleship, without the cross, without faith, without Jesus Christ living and incarnate,
and without the conversion necessary to live reconciliation within the Christian community.

Such a person is hardly ready to celebrate the Sacrament of Penance as it is understood today.

Some thoughts on Original Sin & Sacraments



What are the origins of the teaching on original sin, and what are we to make of it today?
From the very beginning, Christians understood that sacramental initiation and the waters of baptism placed them in a condition of hope over against slavery to sin. Baptism expressed a new beginning, a new relationship with God through Jesus and in the Spirit.
Evil and sin, not just personal sin but the cosmic evil that surrounds us all, would not finally triumph over those who remained faithful to their baptism.
Just as the creative power of God held mastery over the power of chaos in the very beginning, and just as Jesus was victorious over sin and death, so those who remained faithful to their baptismal life would finally be victorious over evil and sin.
This was the hope with which the first Christians lived.
The "forgiveness of sin" associated with baptism meant not merely absolution from one's personal faults, but above all a new standing in the face of the far more vast powers of cosmic sin and evil and death.
Every religion recognizes and has its own terms for the sin of the world.
This sin is more than the sum of our own or our neighbors' or even our ancestors' personal sins.
It is a cosmic thing,
it is the mystery of evil that touches everyone who is born into this world,
and it is a terribly real dimension of the ambiguous world into which we are born.
But the sin of the world is not exactly what we have come to know as "original sin." Early in the fifth century Augustine of Hippo, added a new element which was destined to give a very particular shape to Christian understanding of the sin of the world.
Augustine was the first to state that you and I are guilty of the sin of the world and blameworthy for it before we sin personally, indeed before we are conscious of sin or goodness.
Augustine became involved in a dispute with a monk named Pelagius, an influential spiritual director who seemed to be far too optimistic about our natural abilities to lift ourselves up by our own bootstraps, unaided by the grace of God.
Augustine's dispute with Pelagius and his followers went on for years, and the bishop of Hippo drew on every source at his disposal to demonstrate that human nature is nothing without the grace of God.
Among his arguments Augustine pointed to the tradition of infant baptism as evidence that we are born without grace.
He reasoned that baptism must bring about a grace that was absent to a newborn child.
Otherwise why would the church baptize infants, as it has "always" done?
It did not occur to Augustine to call into question the practice of infant baptism, and he did not have the resources to examine whether this practice was as traditional or ancient as he thought.
He simply accepted the practice and then fashioned it into an argument against the Pelagians without any thought that the motives for baptizing children,
wherever the practice existed, might not always have been identical with his own.
Augustine also worked with a faulty translation of Romans 5:12 and was pressed to explain how all of us had sinned "in" Adam's sin.
The upshot of all this was a teaching on cosmic sin with some new elements: Baptism removes a personal guilt which is inherited from Adam and transmitted through the male semen."
Again, it is important to distinguish Christian awareness of the mystery of evil, the sin of the world, from the idea of individual blameworthiness prior to any personal sin.
The notion that baptism "forgives original sin" in this particular sense is unknown to the church of the first few centuries.
Tertullian (d. 220) held that the semen of the sexual union transmitted holiness, not sin.
And long before Tertullian, Saint Paul argued that a non-Christian spouse is made holy through union with a Christian spouse, on the grounds that the children of a Christian parent arc holy, not unclean (1 Cor 7:14).
 Like Tertullian, Paul presupposes that the gift of God's love precedes sin, even apart from baptism.
Augustine looked at a current practice, that of infant baptism, and from it he argued to a theological theory.
It is not until the ninth century that we find a writer reversing the argument, stating that there is original and individual guilt for the sin of the world, and therefore one must be baptized.
Perhaps the reversal is already implicit in Augustine.
But Augustine would also have insisted that none of this makes sense apart from the faith of the church and such factors as the conscious faith commitment of a baby's parents.
The subsequent tradition did not so insist.
The doctrine of original sin as we have inherited it developed only gradually.
No one will deny the truth about the reality of evil that it affirms.
We are certainly born into an ambiguous world where the force of sin impinges on us as quickly as the force of love.
And we are certainly born with inner tendencies which, once they become conscious, show a propensity for selfishness as much as for self-giving.
But in addition to this dimension of life which the doctrine of original sin has rightly recognized, we also need to be attentive to what it has left unsaid.
Is it not an essential truth of Christianity that God is a total lover, so total that he loves us even before we know how to respond?
Grace is a relationship.
Our side of the relationship develops only gradually, but it is always a response to a love which is already there for us.
What the traditional doctrine of original sin leaves unsaid is this:
God loves us from the first moment of our conception.
We are born at once into the mystery of love and into the mystery of evil.
Both love and sin surround us from the very beginning.
But for nearly 1,500 years, following the school of thought that developed out of Augustine's dispute with the Pelagians, the western church has given a curious priority to the mystery of evil.
Our pastoral approach to baptism has implied that we are first conceived and born into the mystery of evil, and only in baptism do we securely contact the mystery of love.
Once this idea came into play, it generated still others.
The Christian imagination went on to create a no-man's land between heaven and hell called "limbo," a place for the souls of infants who had never sinned but who were nonetheless "guilty" of an original fault.
Limbo was never an official doctrine of the church, but it was taught by all the great scholastics of' the Middle Ages.
It was a necessary consequence of a doctrinal stand which gave priority to the mystery of evil, and which made God's love somehow dependent upon the performance of the ritual of baptism.
Happily, in this whole view of things, common sense intervened and provided an escape clause for sincere non-Christians called "baptism of desire."
But here is where the weakness of this whole theology shows up.
In order to account for the sincerity and personal faith of millions of Buddhists and Jews and countless others, one surreptitiously confers on them a baptism which is no baptism at all, and which these folk do not in fact "desire."
The problem here is that under the influence of Augustinian teaching on original sin, baptism became the explanation for the presence of God's grace in this world.
The cart was put before the horse, and it became accepted teaching that baptism is necessary for the salvation of all, whether they have heard the gospel or not.
The famous text from John's gospel which says that "unless one is born through water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God" (3:5) presupposes that the Spirit has in fact managed to speak through the way Christians have preached and lived the message of Jesus.
The all too obvious flaws and failures of Christians were never an integral part of the doctrine that baptism is "necessary for salvation."
And yet Christian common sense held its own, in an involuted sort of way.
What the doctrine of "baptism of desire" says, in the last analysis, is that it is one's personal faith in God and not baptism which is necessary for salvation.
When it is read against this whole background and burden of theological suppositions, the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults is truly a revolutionary document.
It gives first priority to the mystery of God's love for us, and it nowhere suggests that we need to be absolved from an original evil.
The Second Vatican Council's Dogmatic Constitution on the Church (#16) made a dramatic move away from the Augustinian school of thought when it affirmed in so many words that God loves everyone who is born into this world, prior to baptism and apart from baptism.
The RCIA spells out the same thing in the liturgical and sacramental realm.
It restores to the church, both in theory and in practice, the concept of a sacramental process which recognizes our "horizontal" journey toward God.
In this process, the ritual or sacramental moments do not make present a God who is otherwise absent.
Rather they celebrate a love that is present to us long before we learn to celebrate it.
This shift in perspective is, I think, utterly fundamental to the Christian view of things.
Creation is good, and the human person is good, if for no other reason than that God has created and loved us before we were born.
Catholic Christianity balked at the pessimism of the sixteenth-century reformers who taught that we are radically depraved, and that Christ finally does no more than cover over our radical sinfulness.
But at the same time Catholicism has based its baptismal practice on the same pessimism which grew out of Augustinian thought and which generated Reformation teachings on the depraved state of human nature.
Once again, the question is not whether the doctrine of original sin says something true about the mystery of evil.
It certainly does.
The question is whether the doctrine as it has come down to us leaves too many important things unsaid.
In the last analysis, we are dealing here with the kind of bottom-line attitudes that are important to understand.
Optimism or pessimism about human nature, the priority of love or the priority of evil—such things involve fundamental stances toward reality that can neither be proved nor disproved.
One can even argue which of these stances is more authentically Christian.
Each Christian tradition, including the Catholic tradition, has at different times wavered between the choices.
Augustine's own pastoral writings, especially the letters and sermons written when he was not engaged in hot dispute with the Pelagians, give a primacy to grace and the love of God which is often absent from his treatises on sin and predestination.
If the Catholic church took a firm stand in theory against Calvin's pessimism regarding human nature, it has at the same time lived out essentially the same pessimism in its baptismal practice.
It is easy enough to insist in theory, as Catholicism has, that we are born only deprived, not depraved.
But in practice this has been more a verbal than a real difference.
If the mystery of evil does not really have a priority, why have we rushed to have infants baptized, and why have we taught generations of nurses and doctors to baptize stillborn infants and even fetuses?
The RCIA restores to the church the optimism of grace and the primacy of the mystery of love over that of evil.
In so doing it reflects the vision contained in the ancient Hebrew stories of  creation, where "God saw that it was good."
It will be interesting to see if, in the decades to come, Catholics and Protestants alike will be willing to revise the presuppositions of the last fifteen hundred years, and return to an older theology which recognizes the presence of God's love in this world prior to and apart from baptism.
Unless this change in attitude takes place, it is hard to see how baptism can ever become more than a vertical connection with God.
The notion of a sacramental process has been absent from other sacraments than baptism.
In the new Rite of Penance, for instance, sacramental absolution is described as the "completion" of a process of conversion (#6),
an idea which is perfectly parallel to baptism-confirmation-eucharist as the "final stage" of initiation.
But this has not usually been our approach to penance.
 For many centuries we have been saying, "Go to confession and get forgiveness."
The new rite says, "Experience the Lord's forgiveness, then go to confession and celebrate it."
Protestants used to say of Catholics that "Catholics go to a priest for forgiveness, while Protestants go directly to God."
This comment was known to anger some Catholics.
Perhaps, given the way confession was often used, the remark was too close to the truth.
In any case, the new rite makes it clear that sacramental confession does not bring God's forgiveness into being, any more than baptism brings his love into being.
The ritual sacrament of penance is unintelligible apart from the process leading up to it, where Christians first "experience and proclaim the mercy of God in their lives" and then "celebrate with the priest the liturgy by which the church continually renews itself" (#11).
It is difficult for us really to believe in the parable of the Prodigal Father.
The father had never stopped loving his son and welcomed him instantly.
He wasn't even interested in the boy's "confession."
This is not the way human justice works, and it is not generally the way we have viewed the sacrament of penance.
Catholics have tended to see confession with the mind-set of the elder son in the parable:
You are not forgiven until you have made your speech, recited your list of sins, given some guarantees, and proven yourself worthy to join the rest of us who haven't strayed.
But once again, do we take as our starting point the mystery of God's love, or are we to remain fixated with sin and evil?
The Lord's constant and faithful love for us is the good news.
We are never not forgiven.
The problem is our acceptance of the forgiveness that is always there for us.
God does break into our lives in sudden ways, but even then a process of reflection is needed for us to absorb it all.
The apostle Paul was knocked from his horse and blinded at the moment of his conversion, and then had to spend days in prayer and reflection before the scales fell from his eyes.
Only then was he baptized (Acts 9).
The acceptance of love or forgiveness is clearly a different matter from being loved and forgiven.

Once we see the sacramental moment as a final stage in a larger process, it is clear that the "grace of the sacrament" is intimately tied up with consciousness, with a growth in awareness.
The sacraments do not bring about something that was absent.
Sacraments proclaim and enable us to own a love that is already present to us.
A sacrament celebrates the Lord's giving, certainly.
But his giving begins long before the sacramental moment.
What we need to focus on, within the sacramental moment, is our taking the love of God home with us, with a fresh awareness of that love.

Celebrating the sacrament brings us closer to one another in the church, and to the Lord who is there for us.
That is one dimension of the "grace of the sacrament," as we saw in the last chapter.
The other dimension, perhaps the most inner and intimate grace, is the new awareness of the love that is there for us.
Such awareness is no more instantaneous for us than it was for Saint Paul.
That is why most of the church's new rites lay so much stress on the process of preparation that must precede the sacramental moment.

One sacrament has been left curiously untouched by the renewal of recent years, and that is the celebration of marriage.
There are no provisions for celebrating, in a Christian way and before the assembly of the church, the stages in a couple's coming together.
For many centuries marriage has been viewed primarily as a contract, and the liturgy of matrimony has centered almost exclusively on the exchange of consent which constitutes the legal bond.
In our time theologians have been exploring a whole other dimension of marriage which had long been neglected.

For Christians, marriage is not merely a contract but a covenant, a spiritual relationship modeled on the covenant between God and his people, his beloved spouse.
The distinction between covenant and contract has now become part of any theological discussion of marriage,
 and it is clear that not every matrimonial contract becomes a true spiritual and sacramental covenant.

If the process of a couple’s coming together is a gradual process of growth in understanding the meaning of their union, one could conceive of celebrating this whole process in forms analogous to initiation into the Christian community.
The first stage of celebration could be a ceremony of betrothal

A second stage, parallel to the rite of election or choice, might be a formal exchange of consent and legal recognition of the contract.
This could be followed by a final period of preparation, with appropriate rites of blessing and healing.
Finally, after a sufficient period of time, there would be a celebration of the sacramental covenant.
Much work would obviously have to be done before such a model could be realized in practice.
The rite of matrimony has for so long been tied up with legal recognition of the bond that it is difficult to separate this element from celebration of the sacramental covenant.

Moral questions also enter in.
At what stage would the couple begin living together?
Pre-marital sex is considered immoral, and in the present stage of discussion on such matters, pre-marital means literally pre-nuptial (pre-wedding ceremony).
If one were to celebrate marriage in stages, and if a couple were to live together after the celebration of the contract but before the final celebration of the covenant, we would have to put some nuances on our moral theology.
If a marriage can be said to have begun before the final stage of celebration, i.e., the final sacramental nuptials, we need to consider a distinction between pre-marital and pre-nuptial sex.
On the whole, we as a church have been quite deaf to the lived experience of many young couples.
Many sincerely Christian couples, who have already made a commitment to one another and are in no sense “sleeping around,” have decided that it is important for them to live together before they can stand up before a Christian community and call that community to witness their union.
This often comes from an experience of so many bad or meaningless marriages among friends and relations. 
The couple want to discover the sacrament and make sure there is a sacrament between them before the can authentically celebrate it.

I am not suggesting that this is the attitude of every couple who live together before the nuptials.
One might not like this form of entering a marriage, and one might counsel against it because of many possible dangers.
But the fact is that in our time, when the roles and mores associated with marriage are undergoing so much change – not all of it for the worse – many committed couples are living the catechumenal model and a genuine sacramental process in their developing relationship.
Can we listen to what might be authentic in all of this?
We certainly have to do better than condemn people on the grounds that pre-nuptial sex is wrong
This is a touchy problem, and I make no pretense of saying the last word on it here.
The 1980 Roman Synod of Bishops urged the development of betrothal rites, to help raise couples’ awareness of the Christian meaning of marriage.
Enabling couples to celebrate their engagement in the presence of the assembly would be an excellent first step toward making the church more present to the sacramental process of marriage.
But this will be seen as just another isolated rite, until we do much more work on helping people to understand the full sense of sacrament as a lived process.